The End, Not Really

Some of you may be asking about my blog post title. It's because today was the end of my weight loss challenge, but not the end of my journey. January 16th of this year I was asked to join a biggest loser team at work, I reluctantly said yes because I'm not much for relying on other people but I figured I could join the team and see what happens. Fast forward to now, and here I am after my final weigh in, and possibly in 1st place of the entire competition. All by myself,  I did it. Sure I had a ton of support from Eric, as well as my family and friends but at the end of the day, I'm the one that ate right and worked my ass off. Literally. I've lost 55 pounds on this journey and can't wait to lose more. Although I am pretty relieved that the competition is over because believe me...I am one competitive girl. Once I realized I had a shot at winning this thing (and $500 mind you) I was all in. I removed my cheat meal and increased my workouts.

Taken before weighing in this morning feeling pretty proud of myself. :)

I'm sure many of you are asking the same question I've been asked frequently these past few months..."How are you doing it?!" It's simple. HARD WORK!

I first had to do a little soul searching and find out what it was in my head that wasn't allowing me to let go of my past and live a healthy life. It was really hard, I've tried for years and this time it finally clicked. I think a lot of it had to do with the post I wrote back in February about my eating disorder growing up. It allowed me to be honest with the people in my life. I was no longer living a secret. Once I was able to let go of that, nothing could stop me. I could shape myself and my life how I wanted it to be. I learned I was in charge, and I took charge.

I set goals. But not goals that were about a number. You have to take the number you have in your head and get rid of it. Don't focus on it. Don't put an end time to it either. I'm telling you, don't do that to yourself. For example, I want to lose 30 pounds by August 20th. Don't do that. I made goals that would instead result in weight loss.

Goals like...working out 6 days a week, drinking almost 2 gallons of water everyday, eating healthy, no drinking alcohol, run a 5K, get top 5 biggest loser. All of these goals, by working on them everyday, they resulted in the weight loss. Consistency will get you far.

Eating right - I'm not depriving myself. I'm just eating less. Instead of chocolate I crave fruit. That's where I get my sugar fix. I eat whole grains and healthy protein. Hummus and salsa instead of fatty dips. I eat often. I never go hungry.

Work your ass off - I started with the deck of cards work out. I added walking, walked faster and farther. I started training to run a 5k. I did sprinting intervals on my parents treadmill. I went hiking. I jumped rope. A lot. A lot of jumping rope. Kickboxing. I got up at 5:00 am to walk 4 miles on Grandview daily. I worked out multiple times a day. Once June hit it was ramped up a bit. It wasn't strange to see me working out 3 times a day. I learned so much about myself in these tough workouts. I didn't always want to get up and workout but I reminded myself of why I wanted to do this from the start.

Everyday I made the decision to live my life like this. Now I don't have to think about it because this is normal for me. Find something that motivates you and embrace it. But remember, no one can motivate you unless you yourself feel motivated. You have to want to do this.

"Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you."

Skys the limit for me. I am taking on the world. :) Whether I end up winning the contest or not (find out Monday) I feel like I've already won.

xo

Ps. I got to try my wedding dress on this past weekend and that was enough for me to feel like all of this extremely hard work was worth it.

Be Happy. It will change your life.

2013 has been a year of change for me. I've completely changed how I live my life. I've lost weight, I've gained friendships I knew were there but just needed some love and attention, and I'm starting to really find out who I am. Most of all, if there was a scale of happiness mine is at the highest capacity right now. I don't know how my heart can be filled with anything else. Thoughts of getting married, "someday babies" and lifelong friendships make me ask how I got to be this lucky. 

The past couple of months have been tough. Just a lot of downs...but we made it through. We chose even during difficult times, to be happy. If there is a major thing Eric has taught me in the 8 years of knowing him its that you just need to be happy. His approach on difficult times amazes me. It always starts with assessing the situation, if something can be done to help, you do that. If there isn't anything you can do, why stress over it? Just move on and be happy. You have the ability to choose how happy you are no matter your circumstances. You can have absolutely nothing and the world can be closing in and you still have the ability to be happy. 

Lately, I have really started running. Daily. Longer lengths, more often, faster. I've just gone out there and done it. I now have a drive to do it and get better everyday. Some days suck. Others I feel like I could go for miles. The point is, each day I get out there and I do it. I run. When running you are quickly reminded about the power of your mind. How much your mind controls what you do. Physically you get to the point where you want to stop. Mentally, you love being out there and running, you love the feeling, you love the endorphins. So you have to tell yourself to just keep going. To work through the fatigue. Even though physically you think you are done, you push on and your mind allows you to do more than your body thought you could. 

Being happy is just the same. No matter the distractions in life, or all of the "stuff" going on you still have the ability mentally to tell yourself you are going to be happy. To choose to be happy. It's really that simple. If you have a happy outlook on life you will be happy. Take joy in the simple things, don't sweat the little stuff because at the end of the day it's just stuff. Happiness is contagious and can change how other people look at their life. Choose to be happy and it really will change your life.

xo

Throwback Thursday: Music Edition // Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple

This weeks Throwback Thursday: Music Edition is about the one and only Fiona Apple. If you don't know who she is you are seriously missing out. She is a creative genius in my mind and honestly was my outlet during my tough years in high school dealing with my eating disorder and just depression in general. Her music stung me deeply to the core. It was relatable to me. Her song writing and rhythms were almost as if I wrote them myself. (hardly) I still listen to her probably on a weekly basis. There's just something about her music that doesn't get old. She's got something for every mood. I'll be honest, it's really impossible for me to pick a few songs for you to listen to. Impossible.

The albums Criminal released in 1996 and When The Pawn released in 1999 are two of my all time favorite albums. EVER. ever. ever. 

Don't start with her new albums, go back to these two and listen to them. Really listen. As someone that grew up with a lot of self doubt, loneliness, eating disorder, crappy friends, and crappy boyfriends...her music is so relatable. She talks about love and hurt, hunger, and self doubt. At the same time she had strength. Strength to write about all of these things but still sound so beautifully. Some of the songs you can just feel her pain and others you can feel her strength and thats what I love about her. She's truly an artist. 

**The name of the songs are links to the songs. :)

 Sullen Girl -
"Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself 
All day -- and all night 
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath 
I say to myself 
I need fuel -- to take flight -- 
And there's too much going on 
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion 
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion 
Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl 
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea 
but he washed my shore and he took my pearl 
And left and empty shell of me 
And there's too much going on 
But it's clam under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion"

Fast As You Can -

"I let the beast in too soon, I don’t know how to live

Without my hand on his throat; I fight him always & still
O darling, it's so sweet, you think you know how crazy 
-How crazy I am
You say you don’t spook easy, you won’t go, but I know
And I pray that you will
-Fast as you can, baby run-free yourself of me
Fast as you can
I may be soft in your palm but I’ll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your
Heart from under your skin
-Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself"

Criminal - (If you've listened to the radio in the 90's you've heard this)

"I've been a bad, bad girl

I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world
When a girl will break a boy just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love"

Love Ridden -
"Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over, 
So I can't tonight, baby
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
My hand won't hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I'm giving up on you"

Paper Bag -
"I was staring at the sky, just lookin' for a star
To pray on or wish on or something like that
I was havin' a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love"

Please tell mere there is someone else out there that loves her just as much as I do? :)

xo

Walking The Dog

Oh Banksy, you are my everything

This dog is amazing. At times he is a pain in the ass on walks, but the smiles he puts on peoples faces while we are on walks just makes me laugh. Banksy is the typical lab. Goofy, loving, gently, vocal, attention lover... The list goes on. My favorite part about B is his tail. He can't hide any emotion because his tail gives it away. Walks make him so happy that I don't think his tail can go any faster sometimes. People giving him attention is his favorite and even though we are still working on him lunging in for people to pet him (he really can't wait for people to come to him) he is a great dog that just loves sharing his love. Taking him on walks has really become the favorite part of my day. Besides seeing Eric of course. ;)

xo

Weekend Love

Why is it that some weekends just feel so much better than others? This weekend has just been...refreshing

Saturday morning, Eric and I were up bright and early. Well, I was awake around 6 and out of bed cleaning house by 7. Eric was awake but ended up staying in bed nursing a hangover until about 8.

We accomplished so much "stuff" by noon! House cleaned, mens wear picked out for the wedding, passport photos taken, lunch, and thrifting. When we got back home we were kind of like..."now what do we do with our day?" I personally love days like this. Eric usually prefers to lounge in the morning and get stuff done in the afternoon but not me. I'm usually begging for him to get up and get going. :)

I love good hair days that are 2nd hair days. :)

You really couldn't ask for a more beautiful morning.

How cool are these little guys??

I mean, seriously. 

I have a thing for Schwinn branding. Love that "Jetson's" feel

Am I cross eyed? ;)

If only I had the room for a teacup collection. <3

Our purchases. The 3 piece set is a lot less red and more orange in person. Love it! The lady said it was just put out that day so I was happy I was able to scoop it up! :)

much love

xo

Friday Night Out

Last night was my cousin's wedding, Ben and Janelle - you had the most beautiful wedding! Congratulations!

I didn't take much of any photos, but the weather was perfect, and it was a great time!

*most photos that look like this...usually start with the photo below*

Love my sister!

I hope you all are having a great weekend!

xo

TGIF - Dirty Dancing Style

Happy Friday! Made it through another work week. This weekend is especially exciting because weddings are fun, dancing is fun, and being with your family and loved ones is fun. This girl is working through her Friday with a good night just over the horizon. Don't bother trying to get in touch with Eric and I. We will be busy being Frances "Baby" Houseman and Johnny Castle and falling madly in love with each other. ;) (is anyone else a sucker for some Dirty Dancing?)

xo

Throwback Thursday: Music Edition - From First To Last

I'll be honest, this week I had lots going on. Eric and I did 2 date nights, yes thats right 2. Lately we've had zero so we felt we would really kick it up a notch and to add icing on the cake we've got my cousins wedding tomorrow night that we plan on dancing the night away at and just having a good time. I haven't been planning out my blog posts like I usually do so this one y'all is kind of just thrown together.

From First To Last

This is a band that was definitely part of the Myspace era. (yes I was one of those girls) Back when Myspace was huge thats how bands promoted themselves, it was their launch pad. Some of you maybe have heard of Skrillex...well that guy is Sonny Moore who was the singer for From First To Last. Small world right?

FFTL had almost a cult following. But I guess a lot of bands during this Myspace time had that same type of fan base. More of the emo, grunge, metal, alternative crowd. Some people that know me now but didn't know me when I was in high school are probably shocked to find out I listened and still listen to music like this. I don't fall into any specific genre, but I love this shit. Somedays it's just nice to throw on an old album that you haven't listened to in a while, and it takes you right back to where you were in your life when you were so in love with those songs.

Here are my top 3 recommended songs by FFTL

*Ride The Wings Of Pestilence
"I'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
I'll wear your skin as a suit
Pretend to be you, your friends will like you more than they used to

Dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count (count)
I believe it's 6 going on 7 now (7 now)"

*Note To Self

"Note to self: I miss you terribly. 
This is what we call a tragedy. 
Come back to me, come back to me, to me.
Note to self: I miss you terribly. 
This is what we call a tragedy. 
Come back to me, back to me, to me."

*Emily  <<plus Eric learned this on the guitar and the first time he played it for me...swoon

"Smiles and her laughter 
It's the only thing that I've been waiting for a time 
Regardless of our distance and our hope...grows greater 
Trapped by pretty eyes and letters for all time 
...the only thing that I've been waiting for. 

I hope it's something worth the waiting 
'Cause it's the only time that I ever feel real 
Thunder storms could never stop me 
'Cause there's no one in the world like Emily"

What are some of your favorite "Throwback" bands?

xo

Black Hole - The Internet

Pinterest - I'm sure everyone can relate when 3 hours go by and all you've done is browse Pinterest. For me half the time I don't even pin anything! I just gaze at my laptop into oblivion of at home cleaning supplies and do it yourself scarf making. Seriously. Life would be so much more productive WITHOUT Pinterest. Sure it gives you ideas and all these resources at your fingertips. Great! Brilliant! You know what it also gives you? A shorter life. Kudos to all of you that pin diy projects and then actually do them. I, on the other hand probably pin 5 items in a 2 hour span that I am sucked into this black hole. That's not being productive. Anyways, I've backed off of Pinterest for the most part, lately I've only been going on to see what the people I follow are pinning. But it's still taking up a good amount of time when I'm on my computer. Less Pinterest would mean less computer!

It's time to back off of Pinterest. Emily, step away from the P button on your bookmarks bar.

xo

Happy Friday! Bring on the weekend!

This week has been a LONG week. I sure am glad it's Friday!! Bring on the weekend and good times with friends.

Today I thought I would share some of my fiancé Eric's amazing talent. Eric is a graphic designer and illustrator. If I could have the amount of talent he has in the tip of his pinky I would be happy. But I don't, so I live through him. :) He does freelance work so please feel free to reach out if you need something designed or illustrated! *All images are not to be copied or used without written approval*

Have a great weekend!!

xo

Throwback Thursday: Music Edition

Brand New - Song Playlist

The other night I was laying in bed trying to think of something I could do on this ol blog weekly. Everyone does the "throwback thursday" on instagram with old photos and I thought, I want to do that on my blog but instead of old photos, I'm going to talk about music I listened to years ago. Some will actually be what I still listen to. Let's just say I'm a creature of habit and still listen to a lot of what I listened to when I was in high school. I rarely listen to the radio. If you are a radio rat. Please stop reading now. (completely kidding. I don't judge you by your music taste. usually) I have an extremely wide taste in music. I will usually give everything a try but to be honest, this girl has an old soul. Any given day you will find me either listening to something my grandparents grew up listening to, or something more current but definitely alternative and not on the radio. I'll admit, I'm probably what you call a music snob. I like what a like, and I know what I don't like. Sometimes I just wish more people would appreciate real music. Music that you have to make with your hands, voice, and soul. Not a computer. If you can sing, play a guitar, and stomp your foot on a drum all at once. I love you.

Now. To get to the part where I tell you about a band I listened to years ago, was obsessed with, and probably still obsess over. Then you'll listen to the band hopefully and at least hear something new, or if you don't like it maybe you'll find a related artist or it will inspire you to get out there and listen to something different. Even something not current.

Brand New

Brand New was formed in 2000. The band consists of vocalist/guitarist/lyricist Jesse Lacey (swoon), guitarist/vocalist/lyricist Vincent Accardi, bassist Garrett Tierney, drummer Brian Lane, and guitarist/keyboardist Derrick Sherman.

Holy cow, I didn't think it would be that hard to sit down and blog about this band but I'm finding it extremely difficult to pick songs to post on here. I've seen Brand New play live twice and it made me love them even more than what I did to begin with. Honestly, every song they have from the beginning to now I have a deep connection with. My biggest recommendation would to just go to spotify, search Brand New and start from their first album and work your way to current. Obviously not everyone has enough interest or time to be doing that so I will try and pick a few songs that I really love or that were popular for them and let you take it from there.

Your Favorite Weapon - this was their first album and is full of angst about life and ex girlfriends. Which was totally fitting for me when I first started listening to them when I was 16. Isn't that the story of every teens life in some way? Trying to find a way to fit in and be loved? 

The first song I would recommend is probably one of the most famous songs from their first album, or at least what got them on the map. Jude Law and a Semester Abroad. I don't even need to say anything about this song, just listen to the lyrics. :) Another gem from this album is Soco Amaretto Lime. This song goes straight to my core. Especially when you are at an age when you really don't want to grow up. This song is so good.

On to the next album...Deja Entendu. Released in 2003

If I could only recommend 1 album I would recommend it would be this one. Seriously. Turn off the lights and let this play. This album is a bit more mature than their first. The intro called Tautou is killer. Hauntingly good and definitely sets the tone for the album. "I'm sinking like a stone in the sea, I'm burning like a bridge for your body"

One of my favorite songs from this album is Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades. I love how Jesse paints a picture with his lyrics and really draws you in to the story he's telling. The background yelling and vocals only add to the "chaos" of this song and I love it.
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot is another personal favorite. Deeply depressing but so moving at the same time. 

"You are calm and reposed
Let your beauty unfold
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones
Spring keeps you ever close
You are second-hand smoke
You are so fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins
Holding on to yourself the best you can
You are the smell before rain
You are the blood in my veins

Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not
I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget"

The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me. Released in 2006.

As you can see there was some time between this album and the previous. They toured and took a break and came back with a "WTF" reaction from me. This album was different than any they had before and I loved every bit of it. This album shook me in a different way. The guitar, the way he sang, it all had a different feel. I'm sure there were some that didn't like this "less pop punk" approach but I loved it. It's awesome to see growth and sound change. To me this album fills my soul.

I'm having a really hard time choosing songs to recommend from this album. (shocking right?) Millstone is probably one of my personal favorites. The drums are great and the lyrics cut me deeply. "I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed. Now I made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it" so good.

This album definitely has a lot darker feel compared to the others. Jesus Christ is a great song. It's deep, melodic, and one of my favs. I really wish I could take a peak into his head and see where these lyrics come from. Seriously.
"Do you believe you're missin' out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night's hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won't know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
'cause this problem's gonna last more than the weekend.

Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not scared to die,
I'm a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?"

Daisy. Released in 2009

I'll start off by saying I love this album, however  I think it's drastically different than anything else. If you aren't into screaming and all that stuff, this album probably isn't for you but I would recommend you give it a try. It's definitely something die hard fans can appreciate, and even took me a few listens before I "got" it. One of my favorite things about this album is when he sings into his electric guitar. It's amazing what you can do with an instrument that its not initially intended for.

The song Vices opens the album and lets be honest. It's intense. BUT I love it. Its in your face and if you really listen to the lyrics, it's insane. "She said goodbye to the ground and jumped" Just brace yourself. :)

The last song I will leave you with is called Noro. I love the different tones and yelling and slamming and jamming that goes on in this song. A lot going on but it all comes together and works. 

"Why doesn't anyone in Noro sleep?
Are they all just scared of their dreams?
When they lay their heads down at night,
What are they haunted by?
Why won't anyone just close their eyes?
Could it hurt them to rest for a while?
Do they need their friend to be a lover,
Or their lover to be a friend?

(Because)
I'm on my way to hell
(Well I've tried, god knows that I've tried)
I'm on my way to hell
(One time, two time, three time, again)

Sitting duck
Running out of luck
And our car's stuck on a train crossing"

Brand New - Song Playlist

This ended up being way longer than intended...I just couldn't narrow it down any less! Hope you enjoyed! :)

If you have a band or artist you'd like me to blog about or feature let me know. I'm open to learning about new music and I love hearing what you love!
xo

Thankful

If you couldn't tell, the past few weeks have been pretty "meh" for me. Exhaustion, lack of motivation, moody moods, rain, and just not feeling like myself. I've kind of let our home slip a little. Eric and I usually keep a pretty clean home, I don't mind the laundry, dusting, mopping, but dishes. UGH. I hate doing the dishes. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's my personality, I can't really sit still that long, and without a dish washer, having to stand at the sink for several minutes washing dishes just really annoys me. Obviously I could do the dishes more often and I would be stuck for less time in front of the sink. Instead, I let them pile up. and lately when I say pile up, I literally mean pile up. Like no free space on the counter or sink due to the large amount of dirty dishes.

With feeling cruddy as of late, they've REALLY piled up. So bad that yesterday I had to wash a spoon in order to eat my cereal in the morning. I'm not ashamed, I know none of y'all leave your house spotless 24 hours a day. I just know it's something I need to work on. This is where being thankful comes in...

After a hell of a day at work Tuesday I had the task of doing the dishes looming over my head. Eric hasn't been able to help out around the house with his injury but he has been feeling a bit better as of late. When I left for work in the morning he had mentioned he was going to try and clean up a bit. I received a text message from him that he didn't think he was going to be able to stand and do the dishes which was 100% ok. I understood and I knew I would just have to suck it up and wash them when I got home. Why is it that a crappy day at work only magnifies other tasks you need to do and makes them 10x worse? Later in the day he text me again saying I didn't have to worry about the dishes now because he had done them. Gosh, I love him. Sometimes there is nothing better than a simple gesture like that to make this girl smile big and remember why I am so thankful to be spending the rest of my life with a guy that would do anything for me. Even if it was a simple thing like doing the dishes.

Coming home to a sink like this makes me smile big time! (Do you see our cute little terrariums? Eric is growing some dragon plant and I have cactus!)

This is my attempt at chalk art and looking on the bright side of all this rain. Eric likes it, I think it looks silly but I'm not about to get out my ruler and shit to make fancy art. ;)

xo

Lets talk about tattoos

Tattoos. Always such a touchy subject for people. I don't get it. I don't have tattoos I will start off by saying that. Do I want them? HELL YES. Do I care about other people and their choice to have tattoos? NO. I have always been more of an "artistic" person. I love makeup, hair, design, art and anything to do with it. I tend to pick products I've never tried based on if I'm drawn to their packaging or an advertisement. I like art, and I like when it makes me feel something. I love girly things, but I love metal and other "alternative" things. Will getting a tattoo make people think differently of me? Probably. Do I care? To be honest, not really. To me tattoos can be beautiful pieces of art. They can be an extension of your story. I've been through a lot in my life and I want to express that. I think people that appreciate tattoos completely get that.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of TERRIBLE tattoos out there. A LOT. My plan is to not be in that group. I'm doing my research, and I'm willing to pay money because you get what you pay for.

The blog community has really opened my eyes to women, mothers, daughters, ect that are heavily tattooed and aren't criminals, lowlifes, or bad people that our society paints a picture of. They aren't conforming to what society "thinks" a mother should look like. They are living as true inspiring individuals that happen to have tattoos. It doesn't change their generosity, talents, or intelligence. I hope someday I will live in a world that doesn't look down on people for being different.

To the most annoying question there is "what about when you are older?" What about when I'm older? I'm going to be wrinkly and old anyway right? So tattoos will only make me cooler right? I mean who wants to be just old and wrinkly? I want to be old, wrinkly, and cool! ;)

xo

April Showers Bring...

Crappy moods. Yup. The month of April has really been a gloomy one. With Eric being home going on week 2 now from his injury, he hasn't been in the best of moods. This non stop rain isn't helping either. Now I can sit here and rag on and on about my crappy mood about how right now work hasn't been great, sleeping hasn't been great (currently on an air mattress in the living room) and all the other nonsense that life has thrown at me, but I won't. That's it. Time to move on, and hopefully with sunshine and warm weather around the corner (key word is hopefully) things will be looking up. I don't have much else to say other than I finally hit the 20 pound weight loss mark. *holla* and I'm in shock with how fast our wedding is approaching. I have a feeling the next few months are going to be a blur but it will all be worth it when we are laying on the beach in Jamaica and I will have my best friends last name. :)

Here are some Instagram photos as of lately - give me a follow for lots of cute puppy pics. :) mlemlemlee

xo

Rough couple of days.

Just when I thought life was getting back on track we had a curveball thrown our way.

Last weekend (Saturday) Eric had fallen twice while playing hockey. He was in pain but not a lot of pain and over the next few days the pain went away and he felt better. Fast forward to Wednesday night. After work Eric went to play hockey, but it was just a casual skate nothing crazy. Well, he fell again. You know the saying third times a charm? This third charm ended us up in the ER Wednesday night. He came home from hockey in pain, but was able to tolerate it, just figured his bum and leg were a little stiff but he was able to sit and walk just fine. Around 8 pm he suddenly went from tolerable discomfort to extreme pain and a swollen right butt cheek. We decided something was wrong and we needed to get to the ER. After an x-ray it was determined that he had a very large hematoma but nothing was broken. Two shots of pain medicine later and the pain wasn't getting better. Due to the amount of pain he was feeling they decided to do a CT to see if there was something fractured they weren't seeing. That came back clear, thankfully. However my poor guy's pain was not going away.

After we were there a few hours we decided to try and get back home to get Eric comfortable. Shortly after getting Eric to stand we realized we were not going anywhere. The two shots of pain medicine were not touching his pain so we decided to have Eric admitted so he could get the good stuff. He got some morphine and we were moved upstairs to his room. Eric's overnight nurse was very sweet, and her name happened to be Emily C...for some reason this made me feel very comfortable. I ended up going home around 2am to let Banksy out and went back to the hospital at 5am to see how he was doing. After I had left the nurse informed me that she had to call the dr. because the morphine wasn't allowing Eric to be comfortable so they were able to give him something in addition to that. It was a very long night followed by a long day in the hospital but thankfully as each hour passed it was getting a little better. The dr. came in to see how he was doing and approved Eric to go home. The easiest way he explained what a hematoma is, is that Eric landed right where your sciatic nerve runs up behind your right hip bone and that impact has caused a lot blood to fill in his butt muscle which has caused him to be super swollen and in pain.

We were able to leave the hospital at 4 on Thursday afternoon and get Eric home. Thursday evening was ok, then around midnight the extreme pain came back and I had to call Eric's mom who thankfully is a nurse. We weren't sure if we were heading back to the hospital or not. We got the heating pad on him because we were told that would help get the blood moving away from his butt and that seemed to start helping a bit.

This entire time Banksy our pup was going crazy over the fact that he couldn't play or snuggle with Eric. around 2:15 am Friday morning I took Banksy for a walk hoping to tire him out so he would stop whining.

Around 3 am Eric was a littler more comfortable and we were all able to get a couple hours of sleep. Friday was much better after keeping heat on it on and off throughout the day. Eric was able to get up and walk around with the help of crutches. I know that made him feel good. It's really hard to see him in so much pain, and having to go through what were the most painful couple of days in his life.

Last night and today we have seen major improvement and his mood has picked up a little bit. :) He's been able to stand a bit with the crutches and we even made it upstairs for a shower. :)

I've been sleeping on the couch along with Banksy so that Eric can sleep comfortably. After a long night at home Thursday night I woke up to see Banksy sitting in a chair looking out the window. I will never forgot how Banksy acted that night. It was like Banksy could feel Eric's stress and pain from a room away. Seeing him looking through that window just warmed my heart. This dog has big love for Eric and it's amazing to see.




Now that Eric can lay on his back comfortably we are allowing Banksy to lay in bed with him and I know they are both super happy about that. :)

Thank you to all who have sent well wishes to him. It's been a really tough couple of days for Eric so I know it really means a lot to him.

xo