Be Happy. It will change your life.

2013 has been a year of change for me. I've completely changed how I live my life. I've lost weight, I've gained friendships I knew were there but just needed some love and attention, and I'm starting to really find out who I am. Most of all, if there was a scale of happiness mine is at the highest capacity right now. I don't know how my heart can be filled with anything else. Thoughts of getting married, "someday babies" and lifelong friendships make me ask how I got to be this lucky. 

The past couple of months have been tough. Just a lot of downs...but we made it through. We chose even during difficult times, to be happy. If there is a major thing Eric has taught me in the 8 years of knowing him its that you just need to be happy. His approach on difficult times amazes me. It always starts with assessing the situation, if something can be done to help, you do that. If there isn't anything you can do, why stress over it? Just move on and be happy. You have the ability to choose how happy you are no matter your circumstances. You can have absolutely nothing and the world can be closing in and you still have the ability to be happy. 

Lately, I have really started running. Daily. Longer lengths, more often, faster. I've just gone out there and done it. I now have a drive to do it and get better everyday. Some days suck. Others I feel like I could go for miles. The point is, each day I get out there and I do it. I run. When running you are quickly reminded about the power of your mind. How much your mind controls what you do. Physically you get to the point where you want to stop. Mentally, you love being out there and running, you love the feeling, you love the endorphins. So you have to tell yourself to just keep going. To work through the fatigue. Even though physically you think you are done, you push on and your mind allows you to do more than your body thought you could. 

Being happy is just the same. No matter the distractions in life, or all of the "stuff" going on you still have the ability mentally to tell yourself you are going to be happy. To choose to be happy. It's really that simple. If you have a happy outlook on life you will be happy. Take joy in the simple things, don't sweat the little stuff because at the end of the day it's just stuff. Happiness is contagious and can change how other people look at their life. Choose to be happy and it really will change your life.

xo

Throwback Thursday: Music Edition // Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple

This weeks Throwback Thursday: Music Edition is about the one and only Fiona Apple. If you don't know who she is you are seriously missing out. She is a creative genius in my mind and honestly was my outlet during my tough years in high school dealing with my eating disorder and just depression in general. Her music stung me deeply to the core. It was relatable to me. Her song writing and rhythms were almost as if I wrote them myself. (hardly) I still listen to her probably on a weekly basis. There's just something about her music that doesn't get old. She's got something for every mood. I'll be honest, it's really impossible for me to pick a few songs for you to listen to. Impossible.

The albums Criminal released in 1996 and When The Pawn released in 1999 are two of my all time favorite albums. EVER. ever. ever. 

Don't start with her new albums, go back to these two and listen to them. Really listen. As someone that grew up with a lot of self doubt, loneliness, eating disorder, crappy friends, and crappy boyfriends...her music is so relatable. She talks about love and hurt, hunger, and self doubt. At the same time she had strength. Strength to write about all of these things but still sound so beautifully. Some of the songs you can just feel her pain and others you can feel her strength and thats what I love about her. She's truly an artist. 

**The name of the songs are links to the songs. :)

 Sullen Girl -
"Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself 
All day -- and all night 
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath 
I say to myself 
I need fuel -- to take flight -- 
And there's too much going on 
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion 
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion 
Is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl 
They don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea 
but he washed my shore and he took my pearl 
And left and empty shell of me 
And there's too much going on 
But it's clam under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion"

Fast As You Can -

"I let the beast in too soon, I don’t know how to live

Without my hand on his throat; I fight him always & still
O darling, it's so sweet, you think you know how crazy 
-How crazy I am
You say you don’t spook easy, you won’t go, but I know
And I pray that you will
-Fast as you can, baby run-free yourself of me
Fast as you can
I may be soft in your palm but I’ll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your
Heart from under your skin
-Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself"

Criminal - (If you've listened to the radio in the 90's you've heard this)

"I've been a bad, bad girl

I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world
When a girl will break a boy just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin

What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feeling like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of love"

Love Ridden -
"Love ridden, I've looked at you
With the focus I gave to my birthday candles
I've wished on the lidded blue flames
Under your brow
And baby, I wished for you
Nobody sees when you are lying in your bed
And I wanna crawl in with you
But I cry instead
I want your warm, but it will only make
Me colder when it's over, 
So I can't tonight, baby
No, not "baby" anymore - if I need you
I'll just use your simple name
Only kisses on the cheek from now on
And in a little while, we'll only have to wave
My hand won't hold you down no more
The path is clear to follow through
I stood too long in the way of the door
And now I'm giving up on you"

Paper Bag -
"I was staring at the sky, just lookin' for a star
To pray on or wish on or something like that
I was havin' a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality, I knew, was a hopeless to be had
But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts and I want him so bad, oh, it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts but starvin' works when it costs
Too much to love"

Please tell mere there is someone else out there that loves her just as much as I do? :)

xo